Posted by: littletoe | June 19, 2007

In The Beginning

I’m fresh, back from my appointment with my advocate. What an education! It appears that the first thing I need to focus on is telling my story. It won’t be the same story that I told the divorce court though. This will be all about the BEGINNING of the marriage, not the end—and please, just the facts.

I have to get witnesses, too, which I figured out by reading the information the diocese provides on their website. I had them mentally all picked out when I was informed that I need witnesses who can testify about the BEGINNING of my marriage. This complicates things somewhat as I was married in California and I am now living in Colorado. Any potential witnesses with knowledge about the beginning of my marriage are still in California. They are people who won’t even understand why I would be seeking an annulment. I haven’t bothered to inform them about my decision to join the Catholic Church. Not only will I be “coming out of the closet” so to speak, but I will be indirectly expressing just how serious I am.

I’m committed to the process, but I’m just cringing internally about the response I will get. One of the potential witnesses is my father. He has never gone to church as long as I’ve known him except for other people’s churches for weddings and funerals. He’s already uncomfortable with me being a church-going Christian. What’s he going think when he realizes I’m turning into a Catholic?

The other potential witness used to be my best friend. We never had an official falling out and I think we still love each other very much but there’s this HUGE elephant-in-the-living-room syndrome going on here, namely the Episcopal Church. I became an Episcopalian because she was one. I had had no religious upbringing at all, so when I began to feel the tug, I just joined the Church my best friend belonged to. I was 29. Really mature way to pick a church. She didn’t even attend the one I went to. By then we lived about 30 miles apart. I moved away from California 11 years ago and we’ve kind of fallen out of touch. I wrote her a letter after the Episcopal Church ordained a homosexual man who had divorced his wife for his lover (i.e. the non-repentant, non-celibate kind) as the bishop of New Hampshire. The response I got back was that it was no big deal. The Church would get over it. Well, it was a big deal for me and my family (and lots of other people, too, I might add) and so I’ve felt unable to talk about this ‘thing’ with her. We mostly just send birthday greetings and Christmas cards. I think of her often and always with fondness and a secret hope that some day we can be best friends again. But I think she approves of what the Episcopal Church is doing and that she might not approve of my decision to become Catholic.

What an interesting place God has brought me to!



  1. Found you through Catholic Carnival. I’m going through the same thing. The annulment process is hard! Having to rehash all the gunk of nearly 30 years ago is awful. Not to mention a mother who went ballistic when she found out I was converting to my husband’s faith…she’s Episcopal, too. One of my witnesses is now a fundamentalist Baptist. Go figure. I have no clue how it will all turn out, but since God led me here there must be a good reason. I’ll pray for you and God bless.

  2. Thanks for visiting Gretchen! I will pray for you too. This really isn’t fun, but I share your belief that God brought us to this place for a purpose.

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